Walking, Talking, Living Lie

OH my gosh... Techno told me something. I'm not going to post what it is, but I'm ust going to say it's different and I'm hapy that he trusts me enough to tell me. He htought I'd think he's wierd for doing it. No it's not drugs or anything bad like that so stop wondering. But he'sa good friend and I don't care how different he is.

It's my brother's birthdya party day too. His birthday is tomorrow. He was really upset earlier today cause the house wasn't clean yet and my mom threatened to cancel the party.

Dilara is upset with me still. And half the people on the bus. They should all be shot for assuming that I have a cruch on Ethan. He's one of my bet friends and if I want to borrow hs shoulder for a nap I can. He didn't object so there. He's not cheating on Kristen or anyhting so it's fine. But dramadramadrama. It's annoying.

Frank was upset today because he wasn't going to be the center of attention. we got him calmed down.

*Able to update now*

Aj got a Playboy bunny poster for his birthday... WTF? That's strange to me. My mom went to Spencer's and bought it for him with the excuse of "He's fourteen; he's supposed to have pictures of half naked women on his walls." That was wierd. All the people, including guys, that are on my posters and whatnot all have their clothes on. Even in band pictures. My Chemical Romance has this thing where they like to stay clothed on stage.

OMG. I can't go to the mall i don't think. Unless there's some wonderful miracle that makes my mom allow me to go with my sister and meet techno there and come home with my sister and be picked up by my mom from Jordan's house. There's no way in hell that it's going to happen... I won't be able to see anyone for a couple of weeks then... Cause I'm going on vacation not this week but the next and i'll be packing on the break. this is going to suck... Maybe Techno can visit and help me pack. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I haven't seen him since the third Pirates movie came out... Hah, that's when I met him.

I have no intentions of dating him. But if he asks me out, and ONLY IF HE asks me out will I say yes. I'm not going to ask him ever. His decision, not mine. I'm going with what life throws me for right now. I can flirt all I want but I'm not asknig anyone out... I'm going to be smart and stay out of everythign for a while. It's too confusing...

I also give up on michael. He hasn't said anything to me in a week... Well... Nothing important to me in about two or three weeks. And everything has been hell because I've counted so much on him for the short time that I've known him. It sucks really.

Another thing that has come to my attention... I like too many guys too often. It's a bit sad really. I am always eyeing some guy as my next prey. I feel like a whore when I do that. It's sad... I mean... I sorta like Techno right now... I think he has a girlfriend. I also sorta still like Michael even though I have given up on him. I gave up on seeing him anytime in the next 6 months. He'll talk again after that. We've never talked this much before... (Well, not this often. Even though he's ignoring me at the moment.)


I'm living a lie.